Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

It’s still here.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Nam eos consequatur amet quis qui dolorem optio.

And the sadness?

Be who you already are.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

How do you get the most out of red light therapy?

I had run out of hope.

It’s here now, writing to you.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

'No recession bet whatsoever': The stock market isn't pricing in any sort of economic downturn, investment firm says - Business Insider

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

The One Food Registered Dietitians Say Isn’t as Healthy as Most People Think - Yahoo

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Binge Eating Disorder: Plea for specialist services in Northern Ireland - BBC

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

The sadness was still there.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Why do some men want to remain single despite the fact that many women want to have a romantic relationship with them?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

I was tired of fighting.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Navigating some of the thorny questions of estate planning - NPR

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Molly Jong-Fast on Human Frailty and Unlearning Erica Jong’s Lessons - Literary Hub

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

You are like me, then.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Big brands are staying quiet this Pride Month - CNN

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.